{"id":70336,"date":"2022-07-01T07:54:40","date_gmt":"2022-07-01T14:54:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/?page_id=70336"},"modified":"2026-05-22T08:29:46","modified_gmt":"2026-05-22T15:29:46","slug":"better-relationships","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/topics-for-personal-growth\/better-relationships\/","title":{"rendered":"Relationships"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>[et_pb_section fb_built=&#8221;1&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; background_color=&#8221;RGBA(255,255,255,0)&#8221; use_background_color_gradient=&#8221;on&#8221; background_color_gradient_stops=&#8221;#284b71 0%|#017580 100%&#8221; bottom_divider_style=&#8221;mountains2&#8243; bottom_divider_color=&#8221;#ffffff&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_row _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; text_text_color=&#8221;#F2F0ED&#8221; header_2_font=&#8221;Open Sans|300|||||||&#8221; header_2_text_color=&#8221;#F2F0ED&#8221; header_2_font_size=&#8221;28px&#8221; header_2_letter_spacing=&#8221;1px&#8221; background_color=&#8221;RGBA(255,255,255,0)&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<\/p>\n<h2 style=\"text-align: center;\">RESOURCES TO GROW INNER STRENGTHS FOR<\/h2>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.18.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; text_text_color=&#8221;#F2F0ED&#8221; header_text_color=&#8221;#ffffff&#8221; background_color=&#8221;RGBA(255,255,255,0)&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;||50px||false|false&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<\/p>\n<h1 style=\"text-align: center;\">Relationships and Love<\/h1>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=&#8221;1&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;0px||0px||false|false&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_row _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; width=&#8221;90%&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; header_2_line_height=&#8221;1.3em&#8221; max_width=&#8221;1000px&#8221; module_alignment=&#8221;center&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;||0px||false|false&#8221; locked=&#8221;off&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<\/p>\n<h2 style=\"text-align: center;\">Our relationships are fundamental to how we experience life and cope with challenges.<\/h2>\n<p>But sometimes it can be hard to connect and interact with others successfully without feeling &#8220;irked.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>While we have limited influence over others, we <strong><em>can<\/em><\/strong> learn ideas and tools that lead to <strong>solid, healthy, fulfilling relationships<\/strong> with family members, co-workers, mates, and friends.<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=&#8221;1&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; background_color=&#8221;#F2F0ED&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;||50px||false|false&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;80px||0px||false|false&#8221; top_divider_style=&#8221;mountains2&#8243; top_divider_color=&#8221;#ffffff&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_row _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;||0px||false|false&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; header_5_font=&#8221;Open Sans|300|||||||&#8221; header_5_letter_spacing=&#8221;1px&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<\/p>\n<h5 style=\"text-align: center;\">FREE VIDEOS<\/h5>\n<h2 style=\"text-align: center;\">How to Make Better Relationships<\/h2>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row column_structure=&#8221;1_2,1_4,1_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;1_2&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.18.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; transform_scale=&#8221;98%|98%&#8221; min_height=&#8221;410px&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;|0px|0px||false|false&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;|3px|0px||false|false&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/tN0DaN1bYXY\" title=\"YouTube video player\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture\" allowfullscreen=\"\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=&#8221;1_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_video src=&#8221;https:\/\/youtu.be\/IVWRF8Jsha0&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.18.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][\/et_pb_video][et_pb_video src=&#8221;https:\/\/youtu.be\/1o8kXTV95E0&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.18.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][\/et_pb_video][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=&#8221;1_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_video src=&#8221;https:\/\/youtu.be\/hHIJLlv1FNk&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.18.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][\/et_pb_video][et_pb_video src=&#8221;https:\/\/youtu.be\/SCoGUMREYUo&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.18.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][\/et_pb_video][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=&#8221;1&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.18.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;0px|||||&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_row _builder_version=&#8221;4.18.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.18.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.18.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; header_5_font=&#8221;Open Sans|300|||||||&#8221; header_5_letter_spacing=&#8221;1px&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<\/p>\n<h5 style=\"text-align: center;\">FREE READS<\/h5>\n<h2 style=\"text-align: center;\">Simple Practices for Improving Relationships<\/h2>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row column_structure=&#8221;1_4,1_4,1_4,1_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.18.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;1_4&#8243; 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_builder_version=&#8221;4.18.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_image src=&#8221;https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/Have-Compassion.jpg&#8221; alt=&#8221;Have Compassion&#8221; title_text=&#8221;Have Compassion&#8221; url=&#8221;\/have-compassion\/&#8221; url_new_window=&#8221;on&#8221; use_overlay=&#8221;on&#8221; hover_overlay_color=&#8221;rgba(242,240,237,0.36)&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.18.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;||0px||false|false&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;||||false|false&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;||||false|false&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"\/have-compassion\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Have Compassion<\/a><\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=&#8221;1_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.18.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_image src=&#8221;https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/Choose-to-Love.jpg&#8221; alt=&#8221;Choose to Love&#8221; title_text=&#8221;Choose to Love&#8221; url=&#8221;\/choose-love\/&#8221; url_new_window=&#8221;on&#8221; use_overlay=&#8221;on&#8221; hover_overlay_color=&#8221;rgba(242,240,237,0.36)&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.18.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;||0px||false|false&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;||||false|false&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;||||false|false&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"\/choose-love\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Choose to Love<\/a><\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=&#8221;1_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.18.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_image src=&#8221;https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/Speak-From-The-Heart.jpg&#8221; alt=&#8221;Speak from the Heart&#8221; title_text=&#8221;Speak from the Heart&#8221; url=&#8221;\/speak-from-the-heart\/&#8221; url_new_window=&#8221;on&#8221; use_overlay=&#8221;on&#8221; hover_overlay_color=&#8221;rgba(242,240,237,0.36)&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;||0px||false|false&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;||||false|false&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;||||false|false&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"\/speak-from-the-heart\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Speak from the Heart<\/a><\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row column_structure=&#8221;1_4,1_4,1_4,1_4&#8243; 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_module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;||||false|false&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;||||false|false&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/feed-the-wolf-of-love\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Feed the Wolf of Love<\/a><\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=&#8221;1_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.18.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_image src=&#8221;https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/Relax-Needless-Fear-around-Others.jpg&#8221; alt=&#8221;Relax Needless Fear around Others&#8221; title_text=&#8221;Relax Needless Fear around Others&#8221; url=&#8221;https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/relax-needless-fear-around-others\/&#8221; url_new_window=&#8221;on&#8221; use_overlay=&#8221;on&#8221; hover_overlay_color=&#8221;rgba(242,240,237,0.36)&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.18.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;||0px||false|false&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.18.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;||||false|false&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;||||false|false&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/relax-needless-fear-around-others\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Relax Needless Fear Around Others<\/a><\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=&#8221;1_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.18.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_image src=&#8221;https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/Cultivate-Goodwill.jpg&#8221; alt=&#8221;Cultivate Goodwill&#8221; title_text=&#8221;Cultivate Goodwill&#8221; url=&#8221;https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/cultivate-goodwill\/&#8221; url_new_window=&#8221;on&#8221; use_overlay=&#8221;on&#8221; hover_overlay_color=&#8221;rgba(242,240,237,0.36)&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.18.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;||0px||false|false&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.18.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;||||false|false&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;||||false|false&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/cultivate-goodwill\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Cultivate Goodwill<\/a><\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=&#8221;4.18.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.18.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_button button_url=&#8221;#more-practices&#8221; button_text=&#8221;Find More Simple Practices Below&#8221; button_alignment=&#8221;center&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.18.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][\/et_pb_button][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=&#8221;1&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;||0px||false|false&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;20px||0px||false|false&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_row _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;0px||0px||false|false&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;||0px||false|false&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;||0px||false|false&#8221; locked=&#8221;off&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<\/p>\n<h2 style=\"text-align: center;\">Being Well Podcast Episodes<\/h2>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.4&#8243; 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prev_background_color=&#8221;#ffffff&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; background_enable_color=&#8221;off&#8221; use_background_color_gradient=&#8221;on&#8221; background_color_gradient_stops=&#8221;#f2f0ed 0%|#ffffff 99%&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;100px||||false|false&#8221; top_divider_style=&#8221;mountains2&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_row _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;0px||0px||false|false&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;||0px||false|false&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;||0px||false|false&#8221; locked=&#8221;off&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<\/p>\n<h2 style=\"text-align: center;\">Online Courses<\/h2>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row column_structure=&#8221;1_2,1_2&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;1_2&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; header_5_font=&#8221;|300|||||||&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<\/p>\n<h3>The Strong Heart<\/h3>\n<h5>Practical Skills for More Fulfilling, Peaceful, and Effective Relationships<\/h5>\n<p>Our relationships are fundamental to how we experience life and cope with challenges. Get down-to-earth practical help for important relationships, with a focus on effective ways to handle issues, grounded in the combination of strength and heart.<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_button button_url=&#8221;https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/online-courses\/strong-heart\/&#8221; url_new_window=&#8221;on&#8221; button_text=&#8221;Learn more&#8221; button_alignment=&#8221;left&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.18.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; custom_button=&#8221;on&#8221; button_bg_use_color_gradient=&#8221;on&#8221; button_bg_color_gradient_direction=&#8221;84deg&#8221; button_bg_color_gradient_stops=&#8221;#284b71 0%|#017580 100%&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; button_bg_color__hover=&#8221;#017580&#8243; button_bg_color__hover_enabled=&#8221;on|hover&#8221;][\/et_pb_button][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=&#8221;1_2&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_image src=&#8221;https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/The-Strong-Heart-Online-Relationship-Course.jpg&#8221; alt=&#8221;The Strong Heart&#8221; title_text=&#8221;The Strong Heart Online Relationship Course&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][\/et_pb_image][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;||0px||false|false&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_divider color=&#8221;#ABD1C9&#8243; divider_weight=&#8221;2px&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][\/et_pb_divider][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row column_structure=&#8221;1_2,1_2&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;1_2&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_image src=&#8221;https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/The-Courage-To-Connect-Rick-Daniel.jpg&#8221; alt=&#8221;The Courage to Connect&#8221; title_text=&#8221;The Courage to Connect&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][\/et_pb_image][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=&#8221;1_2&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; header_5_font=&#8221;|300|||||||&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<\/p>\n<h3>The Courage to Connect<\/h3>\n<h5>Finding Strength in Openness and Vulnerability<\/h5>\n<p>Join Dr. Daniel Ellenberg and Dr. Rick Hanson for a powerful online course that will help you be more open and confident, so you can express yourself more fully and have deeper, more fulfilling relationships.<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_button button_url=&#8221;https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/online-courses\/courage-to-connect\/&#8221; 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global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][\/et_pb_divider][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=&#8221;1&#8243; prev_background_color=&#8221;#ffffff&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; background_enable_color=&#8221;off&#8221; use_background_color_gradient=&#8221;on&#8221; background_color_gradient_stops=&#8221;#f2f0ed 0%|#ffffff 99%&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;100px||||false|false&#8221; top_divider_style=&#8221;mountains2&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_row column_structure=&#8221;2_5,3_5&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.18.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;2_5&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.18.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_image src=&#8221;https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/MakingGreatRelationships-3D-Cover_forWeb-1.png&#8221; title_text=&#8221;MakingGreatRelationships-3D-Cover_forWeb-1&#8243; url=&#8221;https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/writings\/books\/making-great-relationships\/&#8221; url_new_window=&#8221;on&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.18.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][\/et_pb_image][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=&#8221;3_5&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.18.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.18.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<\/p>\n<div class=\"et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_0  et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light\">\n<div class=\"et_pb_text_inner\">\n<h1 style=\"text-align: center;\">Make All of Your<br \/>Relationships Better<br \/>with Simple Changes<br \/>Inside Yourself<\/h1>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_1  et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light\">\n<div class=\"et_pb_text_inner\">\n<h5 style=\"text-align: center;\">50 Simple, Powerful Practices for Solving Conflicts, Building Connection, and Fostering Love<\/h5>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_button button_url=&#8221;https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/writings\/books\/making-great-relationships\/&#8221; url_new_window=&#8221;on&#8221; button_text=&#8221;More Information&#8221; button_alignment=&#8221;center&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.18.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][\/et_pb_button][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=&#8221;1&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.18.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_row _builder_version=&#8221;4.18.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.18.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;||0px||false|false&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;||0px||false|false&#8221; locked=&#8221;off&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<\/p>\n<h2 style=\"text-align: center;\">Frequently Asked Questions<\/h2>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row column_structure=&#8221;1_2,1_2&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.18.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;3px|||||&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;1_2&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.18.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_image src=&#8221;https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/LoveCompassion.jpg&#8221; title_text=&#8221;LoveCompassion&#8221; align=&#8221;center&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.18.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;|0px|||false|false&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;0px|50px|0px|50px|false|false&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][\/et_pb_image][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=&#8221;1_2&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.18.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;82px|||||&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<\/p>\n<h6 style=\"text-align: center;\"><span>Psychologist and Author Dr. Rick Hanson answers real questions* about<\/span><\/h6>\n<h3 style=\"text-align: center;\"><span>Relationships and Love<\/span><\/h3>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span><em>*Questions have been edited to protect privacy.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=&#8221;4.18.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;-19px|auto||auto||&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.18.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_accordion _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; toggle_font_size=&#8221;18px&#8221; toggle_letter_spacing=&#8221;0.5px&#8221; body_font_size=&#8221;16px&#8221; body_line_height=&#8221;1.6em&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_accordion_item title=&#8221;Can we generally trust people in society, or should we maintain a level of suspicion given historical examples of betrayal (e.g., the Holocaust) and the potential for human behavior to change dramatically?&#8221; open=&#8221;on&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.27.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There is deep goodness in every being. But it can also be covered over and pushed aside, especially when we\u2019re under pressure.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In my personal experience, most people will not be deliberately cruel, vicious, or violent . . . to those they regard as \u201clike me.\u201d On the other hand, there are countless examples of bias, discrimination, dehumanization, exploitation, and worse directed by many people at those they regard as \u201cother,\u201d \u201cthem,\u201d \u201cnot like-me.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Whether with those like-me or those not-like-me, when people feel threatened, especially if their perceived survival is at stake, many will treat others very badly.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Of course, there are also many inspiring examples of people treating others well who are not-like-me, and standing up for them even under the most horrible circumstances.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Most people will do the right thing if it is easy to do. Alas, far fewer will do the right thing if it is hard to do.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So I think it is useful to be clear-eyed about others, and about the context as they view it, and how threatened they feel, and what they feel justified in doing. And it is both useful and virtuous to be oneself kind to others, and prepared to do the right thing even if it is hard.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I have a metaphor for two types of mistakes: thinking there is a tiger when there isn\u2019t, and thinking there is no tiger when there actually is. As individuals, we need to weigh the likelihood and the costs of each type of mistake in the actual lives we have today. Perhaps we are being needlessly cautious, transferring to relatively safe current circumstances fears we understandably acquired from past terrible circumstances. Or perhaps we are being naive and overly optimistic about real threats, and need to be more careful.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We also need to weigh how others view their circumstances today. Perhaps they feel more threatened than we have realized, and more justified in extreme behavior. Perhaps they are more of an actual tiger than we have recognized.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">These are ways of seeing clearly. Which is calming &#8211; even if what we see is threatening &#8211; and moves us toward taking the actions that we can, with love and determination.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=&#8221;I notice that you have a lot of offerings on how people can improve their relationships. Can I suggest that you consider offerings for people who don\u2019t have family or fulfilling friendships, who are alone and perhaps lonely?&#8221; open=&#8221;off&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.18.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p>I appreciate you raising these issues of isolation and loneliness, in the larger context of the disruption of social bonds in America (i.e. the pandemic). I totally agree with you about their realness and impacts, including on the brain.<\/p>\n<p>In <a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/online-courses\/strong-heart\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">The Strong Heart<\/a> program, the emphasis is on skills for any kind of important relationship (not necessarily family or intimate partner). Though still, if one does not have many relationships at all, there is little in that program that would be relevant.<\/p>\n<p>In <a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/writings\/books\/hardwiring-happiness\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Hardwiring Happiness<\/a>, <a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/writings\/books\/resilient\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Resilient<\/a>, and related online programs, there is quite a lot of material about doing whatever is possible in a relatively isolated life to build up a genuine sense of connection, and internalize these experiences. This of course does not change tough conditions, but it does address what we can do ourselves in those conditions. More broadly, most of the content I offer is about internal practice of one kind or another that is not connected to any kind of relationship.<\/p>\n<p>Loneliness and isolation are tough, truly tough to deal with, and a sadly widespread issue.<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=&#8221;When talking with others I\u2019m very focused and mindful of the topic, but not of my conversation partner\u2019s experience. Any recommendations?&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.18.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; open=&#8221;off&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p>Traditionally, mindfulness is defined essentially as sustained present moment awareness of everything in the field of experience. You are present rather than absent, recollective rather than forgetful.<\/p>\n<p>In this light, we can be in flow while also being mindful, but the metacognitive aspects of mindfulness \u2013 a little bit of paying attention to attention, aware of awareness, to remain mindful \u2013 do tend to pull people out of flow unless they develop the capacity to integrate flow and mindfulness.<\/p>\n<p>In your case, you might explore what it is like to be really passionate and engaged, including intellectually, while also continuing to keep a bit of awareness for the overall situation, including the reactions of other people.<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=&#8221;Can you use the HEAL process to heal attachment issues?&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.18.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; open=&#8221;off&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p>You can use the HEAL process to internalize any beneficial experience, growing more of the good inside. So for attachment issues, you could use it with experiences that originate in actual here-and-now interactions or relationships with others. And you could also use it with experiences that you create by recalling past interactions and relationships, as well as with experiences of your own caring, kindness, respect, support, friendship, and love flowing out from you, since love is love whether it is flowing in or flowing out. Personally, I like the many options that this approach gives one, especially if the actual relationships in one\u2019s life today are not that conducive to having key experiences targeted at old wounds.<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=&#8221;You write: \u201cIs it painful to feel love because it stirs up old frustrated longings\u2026so that you dial down the love to suppress the longings?\u201d Where can I find answers to this enigma?&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.18.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; open=&#8221;off&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p>We can have desires for love (in many forms, including simple decent treatment of us by others) that reach all the way back to infancy. \u00a0Sometimes these desires \u2013 wishes, hopes, needs, wants, longings \u2013 are tended well by others even if not perfectly. And sometimes they are not \u2013 perhaps traumatically, though more often by lots of little disappointments and mistreatments that accumulate over time in emotional memory. Naturally, the brain associates the longing for love to the pain we feel when it is not given appropriately to us.<\/p>\n<p>So then when today that longing is stirred up, even in simple ways like meeting someone who might become a friend, the brain\/mind quickly associates that desire to the (understandable) expectation of pain\u2026so then we withdraw in one way or another \u2013 unless we are conscious of this process, and with self-compassion and insight can \u201cstep in\u201d inside our own mind to remind ourselves that this is now not then, and that we can indeed open a bit and see what happens and if it goes well, keep opening a little more, step by clear seeing step.<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=&#8221;Does mindfulness mean being submissive? What is the difference between allowing someone or something to take advantage of you vs. letting go?&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.18.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; open=&#8221;off&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p>When we sustain a mindful awareness of outer events or inner experience, we are actually doing the opposite of submitting to them, in the sense you mean. We are recognizing them as facts \u2013 like them or not, they exist \u2013 perhaps with a sense of acceptance or serenity, but not letting them control us.<\/p>\n<p>In fact, when we fight with them \u2013 like getting angry at having certain thoughts \u2013 they are controlling us. And, with the perspective and wisdom that come from awareness and investigation, we can be strong, forceful, even passionate in speaking truth to power \u2013 both out there, and (often more importantly) inside our own heads.<\/p>\n<p>What we let go of mainly are our unhelpful, unhappy reactions to things. We don\u2019t let go of recognizing and standing up against injustice, or let go of our legitimate interests.<\/p>\n<p>The main things that take advantage of us are our fearful, angry, self-doubting reactions to things.<\/p>\n<p>Check out my chapter on kindness and assertiveness in <a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/writings\/books\/buddhas-brain\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Buddha\u2019s Brain<\/a> and see what you think.<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=&#8221;How do I relate to colleagues when they are not meeting my expectations?&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.18.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; open=&#8221;off&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p>Compassion can live alongside discernment, performance expectations, and assertiveness. You can have compassion \u2013 the basic wish that they not suffer, usually with feelings of sympathetic concern \u2013 for your colleagues, and you can restrain and release any ill will toward them (including any righteousness or disdain), while also making skillful choices about what you might say and how you might say it.<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=&#8221;Does the brain develop primarily due to the influence of relationships?&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.18.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; open=&#8221;off&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p>While the social dimension to life is profoundly important, it is just one of several major influences on the developing brain, especially past the first birthday. For example, the brain is incredibly shaped by a young child\u2019s interior sensations, their engagement with sensorimotor experiences, and by their interior reflections (largely nonverbal) about their world and their self.<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=&#8221;When going through the \u201cLink\u201d stage of your HEAL process, should my positive thought be one of love from others, even those I feel betrayed by?&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.18.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; open=&#8221;off&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p>It is natural to continue to be bothered by negative thoughts and feelings long after a loss and psychological injury that\u2019s as large as the one you experienced. In my model of the three ways to engage the mind \u2013 let be, let go, let in \u2013 sometimes it take many months, or even several years, to get through the first two of these. Try not be overwhelmed by the pain.<\/p>\n<p>Then, on the basis of truly letting be and letting go, you can now let in most effectively, such as internalizing positive experiences of feeling cared about by others (e.g., friends, children), and feeling worthy and good in your own being. Then the linking step of holding both positive and negative in your mind will be most effective.<\/p>\n<p>More generally, it helps me get free of my own suffering in relationships when I can see the suffering in others and have compassion for them. This does not mean I approve or let them off the moral hook, just that I also recognize their own pain and difficulties. Besides being benevolent, this seeing of the suffering of others paradoxically helps me feel less upset.<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=&#8221;What can I do to help someone who doesn\u2019t want to be helped or can\u2019t accept what is offered?&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.18.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; open=&#8221;off&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p>I find myself thinking about the wisdom of people I know who have much more experience than I have with this territory. They stay centered and kind while also establishing clear boundaries, understanding that they can speak truth as they see it from their heart but ultimately cannot make anyone do anything. They also do what\u2019s possible to bring in more resources, such as competent professionals.<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=&#8221;You say that the brain has powerful, natural capacities toward intimacy. What, then, do you believe causes some of us to isolate ourselves or feel alone?&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.18.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; open=&#8221;off&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p>Many reasons. Sometimes the longing for closeness led to pain in the past, or we saw this happen to others, or we simply worried that it could happen to us.<\/p>\n<p>The trick now is to risk the dreaded experiences related to intimacy in thoughtful, appropriate ways that are likely to succeed. Then, when things go well (as they usually do), really take in the good of this experience, to help your brain gradually learn that it is OK to get closer to others.<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=&#8221;Can \u201cTaking In The Good\u201d help in relationships?&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.18.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; open=&#8221;off&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p>Yes, studies show that for most people most of the time \u2013 each day, week, month, year, and lifetime \u2013 they are having many more positive experiences than negative ones. Of course, there are important and sometimes tragic exceptions that need to be acknowledged, too, such as people at home and abroad living in terrible poverty, or with chronic pain or depression. The problem is that the brain has a feature that worked great for survival in the wild, but today functions as a kind of design flaw in terms of quality of life and long-term health: the brain generally lets positive experiences flow through while capturing all the negative ones.<\/p>\n<p>This is why \u201ctaking in the good\u201d is so important: by staying with positive experiences for a dozen or more seconds in a row, we can capture them and weave them into the fabric of the brain and the self.<\/p>\n<p>The noteworthy researcher on marriage, John Gottman, found that happy, lasting couples had at least a 5:1 ratio of positive to negative interactions (and often an even higher ratio), and found that falling below this 5:1 ratio was a major risk factor for eventual divorce. Without getting into numbers, which could be misleading, the key takeaway point is that much research shows that negative experiences are generally more memorable, more reactive to the body, and more consequential in how we feel and see the world. This is true in all time frames, whether a day or a lifetime.<\/p>\n<p>Therefore, the practical steps are: (A) bear negative experiences when they happen without getting all negative about them (which just adds negative to negative), (B) help yourself get through a negative experience as gracefully and as a soon as you can, and (C) really cultivate positive experiences, and when you are having them, really focus on them to take them in.<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=&#8221;Will you speak to the process of dealing with a relationship loss?&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.18.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; open=&#8221;off&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p>It is natural for the mind to revisit again and again material related to a loss (e.g., images, longings, thoughts, I-wish-I\u2019d-said). That\u2019s part of the normal grieving process. In meditation and in general, what\u2019s usually wise is to allow the material to be there, take some seconds or minutes to know it for what it is, hold it in a larger space of awareness and interest, and try not to identify with it as \u201cme\u201d or \u201cmine\u201d: it is there in the mind but it is content like any other, such as a sound, sensation, memory, etc. And also for sure bring gentle compassion and kindness to yourself.<\/p>\n<p>In addition to this fundamental mindfulness approach, it can also often be helpful to gently but actively let the loss-related material go, such as focusing on exhaling, reminding yourself that partings are widely common and inevitable ultimately for all of us, bowing to reality as it is whether you like it or not, or mentally saying goodbye to the person.<\/p>\n<p>And helpful to take in, to receive, positive feelings and thoughts of being cared about by others.<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=&#8221;You write that one survival strategy is creating separations. Why? How do humans benefit from the brain creating this separation?&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.18.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; open=&#8221;off&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p>At a physical level, any living organism needs to create lots of boundaries, both between itself and the world, and inside itself in terms of distinguishing between itself and germs, or distinguishing among different bodily systems and processes. Mentally, organisms \u2013 especially the smarter they get, like us \u2013 have to distinguish between one thought and another one, one perception and another one, past and present and future, etc. These distinctions are separations. They help us survive. But they also make us suffer since everything is actually highly connected. So this separation-making is tense, stressful, confused in some sense, and cuts us off from wholeness and oneness. Thus suffering. Practice is seeing through these separations, releasing unnecessary ones, and not taking the necessary ones too seriously.<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=&#8221;What is emotional blackmail?&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.18.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; open=&#8221;off&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p>For me, \u201cemotional blackmail\u201d has to do with the fuzzy but real line between normal-range efforts to persuade, cajole, influence, warn of consequences, and so on and more manipulative efforts to make someone do one\u2019s bidding. Normal efforts may be unwanted by other people, and could be annoying, weird, or unskillful (the usual messy human stuff) but are otherwise not meant with any kind of evil intent. Contrast this with creepy, intimidating, way-too-pushy, violent, threatening, bizarre, cruel, sadistic, etc. efforts that are simply way out of line. It is the latter that I think of as true emotional blackmail.<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=&#8221;How can you take the high ground and %22stay right when you are wronged%22 when dealing with an abusive partner? That high ground to them only signals weakness.&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.18.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; open=&#8221;off&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p>This is a deep and natural question, one that I\u2019ve mulled a lot over the years.<\/p>\n<p>My two cents is that the more abusive the partner, the more important it is to take the high ground, wrapping oneself in a mantle of dignity, strength, and self-respect. Plus the high road may well include very powerful, even fiery words and deeds. And if this just increases their attacks, well, that seems like pretty unmistakable information that it could be good to change the relationship.<\/p>\n<p>Also, the approach I suggest is not very entwined with what goes on in the mind of the other person. If they want to interpret me taking the high road as weakness, that\u2019s their interpretation, not mine. Also, there are many examples of people taking the high road in face of very, very abusive people and governments \u2013 and generally that high road is seen as a very strong move by both abusers and onlookers.<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=&#8221;I was recently invited to join a social club but I am concerned that I won&#8217;t fit in. I have difficult psychological disorder and I am afraid of being myself. How can I get over this fear?&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.18.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; open=&#8221;off&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p>The whole notion of \u201cfitting in\u201d is interesting. Here are a few personal reflections on the matter:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>With others, I try to keep it concrete and specific, not conceptual: Are they treating me civilly? Is there warmth and inclusion? Are they listening? Do I feel bigger or smaller around them?<\/li>\n<li>If I am living by my own code \u2013 ethical, right speech, not evil, not a jerk, warm, compassionate \u2013 then what other people do is up to them. I may need to shrink the relationship if they mistreat me, but not because there is something wrong with me.<\/li>\n<li>I find that slowing things down, asking questions, and staying grounded simple and real are very helpful.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Bottom line, you are a good person. Myself included, everyone is weird. Really! We are all quirky. You may have a few more features to your psyche than some people, but so what? Your extra features have brought you much growth and helped you develop much virtue. If another person is intolerant, that\u2019s on them not you. It could be a practical issue to deal with, but there is no blame for you.<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=&#8221;I feel very isolated and unconnected to the world. How can one find strength to face challenges without loving relationships and family support?&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.18.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; open=&#8221;off&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p>First, I would suggesting pushing yourself into situations in which you can form new good relationships of various kinds. Some of the best settings are low-key classes such as introductory ceramics and service projects in which good people come together in common cause. I\u2019m a shy person myself and I get what is hard about actually taking this advice, but there is no replacement for it.<\/p>\n<p>Second, there are many sources of resilient well-being that do not depend on relationships. My programs and writings get at this in depth, and I suggest you check out <a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/writings\/books\/hardwiring-happiness\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Hardwiring Happiness<\/a> in particular.<\/p>\n<p>Third, even with limitations in human relationships and relative isolation, you can feel related to the natural world, and you can feel and focus on your own naturally warm and caring heart. Even if love is not flowing in, you can be fed by love flowing out.<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=&#8221;Why do humans crave affection and companionship?&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.18.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; open=&#8221;off&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p>The key distinction is between \u201ccraving\u201d \u2013 as problematic forms of desire \u2013 and \u201cattaching\u201d in the ordinary healthy sense of companionship, friendship, love, and parent-child bonding. In the sense of the words I am using here, in a nutshell, attaching is beneficial and craving is harmful.<\/p>\n<p>Humans evolved a highly social brain that naturally attaches in healthy ways. Check out \u201cattachment theory\u201d and \u201csocial brain theory\u201d in general and my chapters on \u201cIntimacy\u201d and \u201cCourage\u201d in my book <a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/writings\/books\/resilient\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Resilient<\/a> in particular. And, sometimes healthy forms of attachment go awry, as in jealousy, over-reactions to rejection, or vicious us-against-them conflicts.<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=&#8221;What is the role of the heart in our experiences?&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.18.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; open=&#8221;off&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p>To begin with, I think it\u2019s easy to make category errors in confusing the metaphorical and the physical heart. The heart sounds warm and fuzzy while the brain sounds gushy or \u201chead-y.\u201d So it\u2019s tempting to ascribe heartfelt feelings\/inclinations to the physical heart even though it\u2019s actually the brain that (still somewhat mysteriously) constructs those feelings and inclinations as experiences in our field of awareness.<\/p>\n<p>As to the physical heart and the brain, there is interesting research on heart rate variability from <a href=\"https:\/\/psychology.berkeley.edu\/people\/dacher-keltner\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Dacher Keltner<\/a>, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.heartmath.org\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Heartmath<\/a>, and other sources. I think sometimes there is an overemphasis on the heart\u2019s influence on the brain and thus our experience of things like warm and loving feelings. Still, clearly there are feedback loops in which cardio-pulmonary processes regulate neural and thus mental activity. In effect, through <a href=\"https:\/\/www.heartmath.org\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Heartmath<\/a> or related methods (e.g., metta practice in Buddhism, devotional practices in Hinduism), one can use the mind to affect the brain to affect the physical heart, which in turn affects the brain, which causes the mind to feel more peaceful\/loving\/happy. I have not seen research to this effect, but it is certainly plausible that changes in a person\u2019s mental state \u2013 such as becoming more loving \u2013 involve functional and structural changes in the neuro-fabric of the heart.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Polyvagal_Theory\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Polyvagal theory<\/a> is also a tremendous resource that indicates linkages between the heart and lungs and the \u201csocial engagement system.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=&#8221;When you say to think of someone who loves you, I think it can be quite painful for people who actually can\u2019t think of anyone. Not everyone has someone who truly loves them!&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.18.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; open=&#8221;off&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p>I really hear you about the risks in trying to think of someone who loves you. That\u2019s why I try to always speak in broader terms of looking for ways to feel cared about, and usually list five aspects of being cared about: being included, seen, appreciated, liked, or loved. I stress that it is important to look for mild, everyday moments of being cared about in one of these ways, such as your dog wanting to go for a walk with you, coworkers appreciating your idea in a meeting, or a moment of friendliness with someone.<\/p>\n<p>In other words, even if someone has not been loved or has been but can\u2019t feel it, there are still many other ways to feel cared about \u2013 which is indeed very important to us as the most social species on the planet. We need to feel cared about in the psychological sphere as much as we need water in the physiological sphere.<\/p>\n<p>I also suggest that people open to feeling caring, since caring is caring whether it is flowing in or flowing out.<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=&#8221;In my quest to improve and become the best version of myself, I have the need to want to share it with people I think could grow from it or learn from it. Is there any wisdom in this ?&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.18.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; open=&#8221;off&#8221;]<\/p>\n<div>Overall what has helped me in these situations is to focus on \u201cwhere I\u2019m coming from,\u201d in other words the qualities and expressions that matter to me, such as presence of mind, goodheartedness, effort, and learning. All that is, in a sense, flowing outward and others move through that field, which is not conditioned on what they do.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>Deep listening to others, especially when the ice seems thin, really helps! Then more specifically, hopefully judiciously and skillfully, I may offer an observation, question, personal lesson that\u2019s relevant, information, and occasionally name an option for a person they might want to consider.\u00a0<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>Meanwhile, they do what they do.<\/div>\n<p>[\/et_pb_accordion_item][\/et_pb_accordion][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=&#8221;1&#8243; prev_background_color=&#8221;#ffffff&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; background_enable_color=&#8221;off&#8221; use_background_color_gradient=&#8221;on&#8221; background_color_gradient_stops=&#8221;#f2f0ed 0%|#ffffff 99%&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;100px||||false|false&#8221; top_divider_style=&#8221;mountains2&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_row _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;0px||0px||false|false&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.18.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;||0px||false|false&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;||0px||false|false&#8221; locked=&#8221;off&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<\/p>\n<h2 style=\"text-align: center;\">Additional Resources on Relationships and Love<\/h2>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row column_structure=&#8221;1_3,1_3,1_3&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;1_3&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_text module_id=&#8221;more-practices&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.18.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; header_5_font=&#8221;|300|||||||&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<\/p>\n<h3>Simple Practices<\/h3>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/admit-fault-move\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Admit Fault and Move On<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/ask-questions\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Ask Questions<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/be-benevolent\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Be Benevolent<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/be-friendly\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Be Friendly<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/be-helpful\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Be Helpful<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/be-peace-pain-others\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Be at Peace with the Pain of Others<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/bless\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Bless<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/dont-be-intimidated\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Don\u2019t Be Intimidated<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/do-not-quarrel\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Don\u2019t Quarrel<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/dont-rain-on-the-parade\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Don\u2019t Rain on the Parade<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/when-you-speak-drop-tart-tone\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Drop Tart Tone<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/drop-case\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Drop the Case<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/forgive\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Forgive<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/give-no-one-cause-to-fear-you\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Give No One Cause to Fear You<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/give-them-what-they-want\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Give Them What They Want<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/kindness\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Kindness to You is Kindness to Me; Kindness to Me is Kindness to You<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/lived-by-love\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Lived By Love<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/love-freely\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Love Freely<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/love-someone\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Love Someone<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/love-the-world\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Love the World<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/love-your-neighbor\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Love Your Neighbor<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/put-no-one-out-of-your-heart\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Put No One Out of Your Heart<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/receive-faces\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Receive Faces<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/recognize-suffering-in-others\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Recognize Suffering in Others<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/see-beings-not-bodies\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">See Beings, Not Bodies<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/see-deep-wants\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">See Deep Wants<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/see-good-intentions\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">See Good Intentions<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/see-whats-likable\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">See What\u2019s Likable<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/see-your-part\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">See Your Part<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/speak-truly\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Speak Truly<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/speak-wisely\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Speak Wisely<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/stay-right-when-youre-wronged-2\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Stay Right When You\u2019re Wronged<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/transform-ill-will\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Transform Ill Will<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/trust-in-love\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Trust in Love<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/try-a-softer-tone\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Try a Softer Tone<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/tune-into-others\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Tune Into Others<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/turn-anger-into-a-peaaceful-heart\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Turn Anger into a Peaceful Heart<\/a><\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=&#8221;1_3&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.18.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; header_5_font=&#8221;|300|||||||&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<\/p>\n<h3>Articles<\/h3>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/5-tips-wire-compassion\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">5 Tips to Wire for Compassion<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/21-ways-to-turn-ill-will-to-good-will\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">21 Ways To Turn Ill Will to Good Will<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/brain-lust-love\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">The Brain in Lust and Love<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/coping-with-loss-implications-of-neuroscience-and-contemplative-wisdom\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Coping with Loss: Implications of Neuroscience and Contemplative Wisdom<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/effect-relationships-evolution-brain\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">The Effect of Relationships on the Evolving Human Brain<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/empathy-key-relationship-skill\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Empathy: A Key Relationship Skill<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/the-evolution-of-love\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">The Evolution of Love<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/feeling-loved\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Feeling Loved<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/foundations-of-love\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Foundations of Love<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/intimacy-and-autonomy\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Intimacy and Autonomy<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/making-time-relationship\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Making Time for Your Relationship<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/neurodharma-love\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">The Neurodharma of Love<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/restoring-love\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Restoring Love<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/true-love\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">True Love<\/a><\/p>\n<h3>Slide Sets<\/h3>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/Courage-and-Compassion.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Courage and Compassion: Living with a Strong Heart In Challenging Times<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/Friendly-and-Fearless.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Friendly and Fearless: Combining Kindness and Assertiveness In Important Relationships<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/From-Many-to-Many.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">From Many to Many: Forming the Compassionate Groups That Can Save the World<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/Hardwiring-Compassion.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Hardwiring Compassion: Helping Clients Heal Wounds of the Heart<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/Neurodharma-of-love.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">The Neurodharma of Love<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/The-Social-Brain.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">The Social Brain: The Neuropsychology of Empathy, Compassion, and Assertiveness<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/The-Strong-Heart.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">The Strong Heart: Kindness, Assertiveness, and Resilient Relationships<\/a><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=&#8221;1_3&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.18.0&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; header_5_font=&#8221;|300|||||||&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221;]<\/p>\n<h3>Talks<\/h3>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/being-well-podcast\/topics-for-the-being-well-podcast\/relationships\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Being Well Podcast on Relationships<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/love\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Love (excerpt from <em>Hardwiring Happiness<\/em>)<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/love-cling-less\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Love More, Cling Less<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/meditation\/topics\/relationships\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Meditations &amp; Talks on Relationships<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/meditations-talks-on-love-peace-compassion\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Meditations &amp; Talks on Love, Peace, and Compassion<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/sila-relationships\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Sila in Relationships<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/why-and-how-to-cultivate-happiness-love-and-wisdom\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Why and How to Cultivate Happiness, Love, and Wisdom<\/a><\/p>\n<h3>Videos<\/h3>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/youtu.be\/q5pSgNx4cvA\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Feeding the Roots of Relationships: Interview with Harville Hendrix &amp; Helen LaKelly Hunt<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/youtu.be\/LnSDyRYyLzU\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Finding Strength in Relationships: Interview with Shawn Achor<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/letting-yourself-be-loved-balancing-self-reliance-and-care\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Letting Yourself Be Loved: Balancing Self-Reliance and Care<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/youtu.be\/gSeE0NGjTR8\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><\/a><a href=\"https:\/\/youtu.be\/gSeE0NGjTR8\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">The Love Molecule<\/a><a href=\"https:\/\/youtu.be\/gSeE0NGjTR8\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">: Interview with Paul Zak<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/youtu.be\/CK82PYF8M0k\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">The Loving Brain<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/youtu.be\/f304e5dy3LU\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">The Mindful Relationship: Interview with Tara Brach<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/youtu.be\/66465o2HonI\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">The Power of Receiving Others<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/youtu.be\/-OHYC8trw-8\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Speaking from the Heart<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/youtu.be\/Rt4ZAaH2R5U\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Three Steps for Dealing with an Accusation<\/a><\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>RESOURCES TO GROW INNER STRENGTHS FORRelationships and LoveOur relationships are fundamental to how we experience life and cope with challenges. 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