[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.17.4″ _module_preset=”default” background_color=”RGBA(255,255,255,0)” use_background_color_gradient=”on” background_color_gradient_stops=”#284b71 0%|#017580 100%” bottom_divider_style=”mountains2″ bottom_divider_color=”#ffffff” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.17.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.17.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.17.4″ _module_preset=”default” text_text_color=”#F2F0ED” header_2_font=”Open Sans|300|||||||” header_2_text_color=”#F2F0ED” header_2_font_size=”28px” header_2_letter_spacing=”1px” background_color=”RGBA(255,255,255,0)” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.23.1″ _module_preset=”default” text_text_color=”#F2F0ED” header_text_color=”#ffffff” background_color=”RGBA(255,255,255,0)” custom_padding=”||50px||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.17.4″ _module_preset=”default” custom_padding=”0px||0px||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.17.4″ _module_preset=”default” width=”90%” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.17.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” header_2_line_height=”1.3em” max_width=”1000px” module_alignment=”center” custom_margin=”|-1px|0px||false|false” locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n
Our brains are wired to take in the bad, and ignore the good. That’s why it’s easier to ruminate over bad things than to bask in the pleasure of the good things in life. Because of the brain’s negativity bias,<\/strong>\u00a0we’ve evolved to learn quickly from bad experiences, and slowly from good ones. This leaves us feeling more stressed, anxious, lonely, irritated, and inadequate than we need to be.<\/p>\n We can learn new ways of being. <\/strong>The way to build a foundation for happiness is to deliberately weave positive experiences into the fabric of your brain and your self.<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ prev_background_color=”#ffffff” next_background_color=”#ffffff” _builder_version=”4.17.4″ _module_preset=”default” background_color=”#F2F0ED” custom_padding=”||||false|false” top_divider_style=”mountains2″ bottom_divider_style=”mountains2″ bottom_divider_repeat=”2x” bottom_divider_flip=”horizontal” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.17.4″ _module_preset=”default” width=”60%” width_tablet=”60%” width_phone=”60%” width_last_edited=”on|desktop” custom_padding=”||0px||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.17.4″ _module_preset=”default” 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src=”https:\/\/youtu.be\/A_w6KfptjBs” _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_video][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.17.4″ _module_preset=”default” custom_padding=”10px||||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.17.4″ _module_preset=”default” custom_padding=”||0px||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.17.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” header_5_font=”Open Sans|300|||||||” header_5_letter_spacing=”1px” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row column_structure=”1_4,1_4,1_4,1_4″ _builder_version=”4.17.4″ _module_preset=”default” custom_padding=”||35px|||” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”1_4″ _builder_version=”4.17.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/Pet-the-Lizard.jpg” alt=”Pet the Lizard” title_text=”Pet the Lizard” url=”https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/pet-the-lizard\/” url_new_window=”on” use_overlay=”on” hover_overlay_color=”rgba(242,240,237,0.36)” _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”||0px||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”||||false|false” custom_padding=”||||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n Pet the Lizard<\/a><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/Right-Mindfulness-1.jpg” alt=”Mind Full of Good” title_text=”Right Mindfulness (1)” url=”https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/be-mind-full-good\/” url_new_window=”on” use_overlay=”on” hover_overlay_color=”rgba(242,240,237,0.36)” _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”||0px||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”||||false|false” custom_padding=”||||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n Be Mind Full of Good<\/a><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_4″ _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/Feed-the-Mouse.jpg” alt=”Feed the Mouse” title_text=”Feed the Mouse” url=”https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/feed-the-mouse\/” url_new_window=”on” use_overlay=”on” hover_overlay_color=”rgba(242,240,237,0.36)” _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”||0px||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”||||false|false” custom_padding=”||||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n Feed the Mouse<\/a><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/Give-over-to-Good.jpg” alt=”Give over to Good” title_text=”Give over to Good” url=”https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/give-over-to-good\/” url_new_window=”on” use_overlay=”on” hover_overlay_color=”rgba(242,240,237,0.36)” _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”||0px||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”||||false|false” custom_padding=”||||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n Give Over to Good<\/a><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_4″ _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/Hug-the-Monkey.jpg” alt=”Hug the Monkey” title_text=”Hug the Monkey” url=”https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/hug-the-monkey\/” url_new_window=”on” use_overlay=”on” hover_overlay_color=”rgba(242,240,237,0.36)” _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”||0px||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”||||false|false” custom_padding=”||||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n Hug the Monkey<\/a><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/Change-the-Channel.jpg” alt=”Change the Channel” title_text=”Change the Channel” url=”https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/change-the-channel\/” url_new_window=”on” use_overlay=”on” hover_overlay_color=”rgba(242,240,237,0.36)” _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”||0px||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”||||false|false” custom_padding=”||||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n Change The Channel<\/a><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_4″ _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/Take-in-the-Good.jpg” alt=”Take in the Good” title_text=”Take in the Good” url=”https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/take-in-the-good\/” url_new_window=”on” use_overlay=”on” hover_overlay_color=”rgba(242,240,237,0.36)” _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”||0px||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”||||false|false” custom_padding=”||||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n Take in the Good<\/a><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/Leave-the-Red-Zone.jpg” alt=”Leave the Red Zone” title_text=”Leave the Red Zone” url=”https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/leave-the-red-zone\/” url_new_window=”on” use_overlay=”on” hover_overlay_color=”rgba(242,240,237,0.36)” _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”||0px||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”||||false|false” custom_padding=”||||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n Leave the Red Zone<\/a><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_button button_url=”#simple-practices” button_text=”Find More Simple Practices Below” button_alignment=”center” _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_button][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.17.4″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”||0px||false|false” custom_padding=”20px||0px||false|false” 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read_more_font=”||on||||||” custom_padding=”20px|20px|1px|20px|false|true” border_radii_fullwidth=”off||||” box_shadow_style=”preset1″ locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_blog][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ prev_background_color=”#ffffff” _builder_version=”4.17.4″ _module_preset=”default” background_enable_color=”off” use_background_color_gradient=”on” background_color_gradient_stops=”#f2f0ed 0%|#ffffff 99%” custom_padding=”100px||||false|false” top_divider_style=”mountains2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.17.4″ _module_preset=”default” custom_padding=”0px||0px||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.17.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.17.4″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”||0px||false|false” custom_padding=”||0px||false|false” locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row column_structure=”1_2,1_2″ _builder_version=”4.17.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”1_2″ _builder_version=”4.17.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” header_5_font=”|300|||||||” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n Join Dr. Rick Hanson for a 6-week journey in Positive Neuroplasticity to override the brain’s negative tendencies and tap the hidden power of everyday experiences.<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_button button_url=”https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/online-courses\/positive-neuroplasticity-training\/” url_new_window=”on” button_text=”Learn more” button_alignment=”left” _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” custom_button=”on” button_bg_use_color_gradient=”on” button_bg_color_gradient_direction=”84deg” button_bg_color_gradient_stops=”#284b71 0%|#017580 100%” global_colors_info=”{}” button_bg_color__hover=”#017580″ button_bg_color__hover_enabled=”on|hover”][\/et_pb_button][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_2″ _builder_version=”4.17.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/Online-Courses-image-1.jpg” title_text=”Online Courses image 1″ _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_image][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ prev_background_color=”#ffffff” _builder_version=”4.17.4″ _module_preset=”default” background_enable_color=”off” use_background_color_gradient=”on” background_color_gradient_stops=”#f2f0ed 0%|#ffffff 99%” custom_padding=”100px||||false|false” top_divider_style=”mountains2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row column_structure=”2_5,3_5″ _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”2_5″ _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/06\/BuddhasBrain3DCover2021.png” title_text=”Buddhas Brain” url=”https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/writings\/books\/buddhas-brain\/” url_new_window=”on” _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_image][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”3_5″ _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_button button_url=”https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/writings\/books\/buddhas-brain\/” url_new_window=”on” button_text=”More Information” button_alignment=”center” _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_button][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”||-4px|||” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.17.4″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”||0px||false|false” custom_padding=”||0px||false|false” locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row column_structure=”1_2,1_2″ _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” custom_padding=”3px|||||” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”1_2″ _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/rickhanson.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/NegativityBias.jpg” title_text=”NegativityBias” align=”center” _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”|0px|||false|false” custom_padding=”0px|50px|0px|50px|false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_image][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_2″ _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” custom_padding=”82px|||||” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n *Questions have been edited to protect privacy.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”-19px|auto||auto||” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_accordion _builder_version=”4.27.6″ _module_preset=”default” toggle_font_size=”18px” toggle_letter_spacing=”0.5px” body_font_size=”16px” body_line_height=”1.6em” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” sticky_enabled=”0″][et_pb_accordion_item title=”How does \u201ctaking in the good\u201d fit with Pete Walker\u2019s view that fully experiencing anger and grief is essential for healing? Can focusing on the positive ever interfere with that process, or should they be integrated, and if so, how?” open=”on” _builder_version=”4.27.6″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n <\/span>We can use the HEAL methods to increase the learning\/developing of all three of these, including the letting be and letting go that Pete and others talk about.<\/span><\/p>\n And note that the letting be and letting go of painful material is only viable when we have let in – cultivated – sufficient psychological resources.<\/p>\n This is a summary above, with a lot more nuance in\u00a0<\/span>Hardwiring Happiness<\/i>.<\/span><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Can you comment on the idea that we have an inherent optimism bias, as I believe your work helps counter a tendency towards a negativity bias as a reason to focus on taking in the good?” open=”on” _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n Some people make predictions about the future – such as the odds of winning on a lottery ticket, or the chance of avoiding health problems while continuing to smoke cigarettes – that are illogically or unrealistically optimistic. It\u2019s also true that much of that research involves constructed choices in university laboratory settings, about fairly narrow and often somewhat artificial options.<\/span><\/p>\n In real world settings, we can observe many people shying away from doing certain things – going to see the doctor, public speaking, being emotionally vulnerable etc., etc. – in which their fears of the likelihood of a bad event and the consequences of it occurring are overly pessimistic. Additionally, people routinely underestimate their capacities to cope with challenges. These are both a kind of pessimism or negativity bias related to future events.<\/span><\/p>\n Further, in terms of social-emotional learning from previous experiences, there is much evidence that it is negatively biased for a typical person.<\/span><\/p>\n In other words, for most people in most real world situations, the negativity bias is much more influential than an optimism bias.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n All this said, the key point is to be grounded in reality as it is, and mindful of biases of any kind operating in the mind and brain. And keep supporting yourself, and healing and growing and helping along the way!<\/span><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”In the Linking step, does focusing on both positive and negative experiences simultaneously lead to the positive experience fading due to the negativity bias?” open=”off” _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n For starters, the Link step has three conditions:<\/span><\/p>\n So when these conditions are met, the positive heals the negative, and the negative does not contaminate the positive.<\/span><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Could you please elaborate on the Absorb step in your HEAL method?” _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” open=”off”]<\/p>\n The Absorb step aims to sensitize the brain to be receptive to the experience that has been Enriched (the second step in HEAL). There are three evidence-based ways to do this:<\/span><\/p>\n Intention: <\/b>Consciously intend to let this good experience sink into you, thus becoming a part of you.<\/span><\/p>\n Receptivity: <\/b>Open to the experience, give over to it, let it become established in you; perhaps sense it spreading inside like water into a sponge<\/span><\/p>\n Reward: <\/b>Focus on what is enjoyable or meaningful in the experience.<\/span><\/p>\n For a description of the ways to Enrich and Absorb and their references, please see my peer-reviewed paper: <\/span>Learning to Learn from Positive Experiences<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”How can we make sure that we don’t get hijacked by the negative during the Linking part of the HEAL practice, while also making sure not to repress the emotions related to a negative situation\/issue?” _builder_version=”4.23.1″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” open=”off”]<\/p>\n Consider the framework of Let Be, Let Go, Let In. In the HEAL process, we make all the space in the world for our emotions and deny nothing and repress nothing. We are simply also deliberately Letting In what is also true and useful. And in Linking, we are connecting what is authentically beneficial and enjoyable with what is harmful and painful, in order to soothe, ease, understand, and potentially replace it.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Is there an explanation for the negativity bias in regard to learned helplessness?” _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” open=”off”]<\/p>\n You are speaking here of our vulnerability, shared with other mammals such as dogs, to acquire what is called \u201clearned helplessness.\u201d There is much research, pioneered by Martin Seligman, on this topic that has established the fact of this phenomenon. You ask a very interesting question: Why do we and other animals have this vulnerability \u2013 including to the sense of hopelessness, futility, and defeat? It could just be an inadvertent side effect of evolution. On the other hand, I can imagine ways that the acquisition of helplessness after a single painful experience of it could in fact help keep our animal and hominid\/human ancestors alive in the wild by discouraging them from venturing out and exposing themselves to predators or aggression from others in their band.<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Where do awe and gratitude fit within the 3 core needs of safety, satisfaction, and connection?” _builder_version=”4.23.1″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” open=”off”]<\/p>\n I think of the three needs (safety, satisfaction, connection) and related motivational and regulatory systems (avoiding harms, approaching rewards, attaching to others) as spacious organizing frameworks, not a rigid ideology. They are loosely related to the three stage (both anatomical and functional) evolution of the brain – but of course the whole brain works together to meet our needs, and to avoid and approach and attach.<\/span><\/p>\n Note that one system could draw on the other two systems to fulfill its needs, such as reaching out to others (attaching system) for support with a threat (safety need). And some experiences blend systems to meet multiple needs, such as being cared about helping us to feel safer and more satisfied and more connected.<\/span><\/p>\n Gratitude is particularly related to satisfaction and approaching rewards. Still, we could be grateful for something that brings safety or connection (or both).<\/span><\/p>\n Awe is rewarding, certainly (satisfaction) while often involving a sense of connection with vastness.<\/span><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Where do my negative or defensive reactions come from?” _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” open=”off”]<\/p>\n There is a common but mistaken idea these days: there is no particular neural \u201ccenter\u201d or \u201cregion\u201d of emotional reactivity, including the brainstem. And reactivity is not restricted to the safety needs that are also managed by the whole brain, though the primal roots of safety management (including literally keeping the heart beating) are grounded in the brainstem.<\/p>\n You\u2019ll see this conflation of emotional reactivity with the \u201creptilian brain\u201d slash safety issues a lot in the culture and it\u2019s just wrong . . . and weirdly prejudicial toward our little inner lizards! TONS of reactivity involve satisfaction\/reward-seeking systems in the subcortex and connecting\/attaching systems in the neocortex.<\/p>\n There\u2019s also in the culture a simplistic conflation of neocortex\/cognition\/cool\/thinking slow\/reasonable\/good, along with a related conflation of subcortex\/emotion\/hot\/thinking fast\/reactive\/bad. Yes the neocortex enables conceptualizing and complex formal reasoning . . . . but it is full of crazy ideas and perspectives that makes us suffer and harm. Yes the subcortex enables the experience and effects of emotion . . . . but it also is the primary source of a background feeling of basic bodily well-being in the wallpaper of the mind.<\/p>\n In addition to the value of accuracy in its own right, another reason I try to flag these matters is because the frequent framing of the more ancient, nonverbal, and emotional aspects of the brain that we see in the culture sends us down a slippery slope toward the old views that emotion (and, um, women) is primitive and problematic while reason (and, um, men) is modern and civilized.<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Can you explain what you mean by \u201cThe brain is like Velcro for negative experiences and Teflon for positives ones?%22″ _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” open=”off”]<\/p>\n As the brain evolved, it was critically important to learn from negative experiences \u2013 if one survived them! \u201cOnce burned, twice shy.\u201d So the brain has specialized circuits that register negative experiences immediately in emotional memory. On the other hand, positive experiences \u2013 unless they are very novel or intense \u2013 have standard issue memory systems, and these require that something be held in awareness for many seconds in a row to transfer from short-term memory buffers to long-term storage.<\/p>\n Since we rarely do this, most positive experiences flow through the brain like water through a sieve, while negative ones are caught every time. Thus my metaphor of Velcro and Teflon<\/a> \u2013 an example of what scientists call the \u201cnegativity bias\u201d of the brain.<\/p>\n The effects include: a growing sensitivity to stress, upset, and other negative experiences; a tendency toward pessimism, regret, and resentment; and a long shadows cast by old pain.<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”I question your paradigm of the reptilian, mammalian, and primate brain in terms of the development of our emotions. I\u2019ve read other theories that dispute this.” _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” open=”off”]<\/p>\n I\u2019m familiar with the work of other brain-research scholars, such as Lisa Feldman Barrett, Daniel Kahneman, Jaak Panksepp, and Steve Porges. With respect, I think that the careful and nuanced way I write about the development of our brains is in fact scientifically accurate. (Much as the work of other scholars is scientifically accurate; different scholars emphasize different facts, and then sometimes rather different interpretations.)<\/p>\n In broad outline, the brain is indeed structured in three major layers that emerged during the reptilian, mammalian, and primate\/human stages of evolution, with a high degree of similarity between the genetic instructions for and operation of each layer in us today and that layer in our mammal or reptile cousins. And today the whole brain works together for our functioning, with each part of it making its contributions.<\/p>\n With mental training, we can draw on the capabilities of more evolutionarily recent regions to manage older ones, but those older regions within us do have the qualities I attribute to them \u2013 and even with mental training we can see their rigidity, impulsivity, and vulnerabilities in everyday life.<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”How do I mesh the two tendencies of the brain: to be alert and tense, and its default setting of calm and contentment?” _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” open=”off”]<\/p>\n Basically, I think the evidence is that both are true: there is an ongoing trickle of background anxiety to keep us vigilant, and there is also a strong inclination to default to the \u201cresponsive mode\u201d<\/a> of being peaceful, happy, and loving when we are not disturbed. Putting these two apparent facts together, I think the trickle of anxiety prompts us to scan for threat, but if we find that all is well for now, then we default to the responsive mode, and then this cycle repeats itself a moment later.<\/p>\n For me the pragmatic point is to discern real threats and address them, while also recognizing the strong bias from evolution to look for threats behind every bush and thus appreciating the importance of exerting compensatory influences in a variety of ways, from inner practices such as I focus on to social support and (hopefully) decent health insurance.<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”What is one practice we can adopt in our everyday lives to overcome our negativity bias?” _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” open=”off”]<\/p>\n Several times a day, take in the good by really savoring a positive experience for 10-20 seconds or more. (The second chapter of Just One Thing<\/a> is about this.)<\/p>\n Over time, much as repeated negative experiences make the brain more sensitive to them, I believe that repeatedly savoring positive experiences can train your brain to internalize them increasingly rapidly \u2013 in effect, making your brain like Velcro for the positive and Teflon for the negative.<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Do you know whether brains of people raised in non-western, cultures like Bhutan or Tibet have the Velcro\/Teflon wiring?” _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” open=”off”]<\/p>\n Great question!<\/p>\n I don\u2019t think there are any scientific studies on this particular topic \u2013 though there is a lot of general research on the universal nature of the fundamental properties of the human brain, that cross cultures. Interestingly, there is much less genetic variation among the members of the human species than among the other primates; apparently, there were several \u201cchoke points\u201d in our evolution when less than 100,000 thousand (and at one point around only 15,000 \u201cJava Men\u201d lived: in effect, they were an endangered species at that time). So we all have pretty similar brains, which all do have an evolved tendency toward threat scanning\/reaction\/memory storage. Then psychological factors shape the expression of those tendencies, including the loving and positive culture of Bhutan and Tibet.<\/p>\n In a nutshell, two things are both true: we have strong tendencies toward negativity and craving, but we also have strong capacities to develop peacefulness, happiness, and love \u2013 and I believe these are in fact much stronger! But we must use them, as so clearly the Dalai Lama and others have done.<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Why do people beat themselves up? What process is behind that?” _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” open=”off”]<\/p>\n I think people beat themselves up \u2013 which is different from healthy guidance of oneself (which includes appropriate winces of remorse or shame) \u2013 for two reasons: too much inner attacking, and too little inner nurturance. These two forces in the mind are out of balance. Why? Multiple reasons, including individual differences in temperament (some people are more prone to anxiety or grumpiness). But for most people the primary sources are what they have internalized (especially as a child) from their family, peers, and culture. Then, once harsh self-criticism has been internalized along with insufficient internalization of self-nurturance, beating oneself up can take on a life of its own, both as simply a habit and as a way (that goes much too far, at considerable cost) to avoid the possibility of making mistakes or looking bad in front of others.<\/p>\n Whole networks of neurons and related and complex physical processes (e.g., neurotransmitter activity, epigenetic processes) are the basis for acquiring fears, including because a person has been on the receiving end of much anger from others. In other words, learning occurs: emotional, social, somatic, motivational, attitudinal learning: enduring changes in neural structure or function due to a person\u2019s experiences. Check out Joseph LeDoux<\/a>\u00a0 and the learning of anxiety and fear.<\/p>\n The amygdala also flags experiences as personally relevant, with a bias in most people\u2019s brains toward flagging what is negatively relevant. Then the hippocampus gets involved, tagging that relevant experience for storage. (I\u2019m simplifying a complex process, that also involves other circuitry in the brain.) The amygdala and hippocampus have receptors for various neurochemicals, including oxytocin, and over time these subcortical parts of the brain (two of each, on either side of the brain) can be modified by our experiences; in effect, they \u201clearn,\u201d too.<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”How can one express, feel and process negative emotions associated with an experience thoroughly and not create and strengthen negative neural pathways associated with those experiences at the same time?” _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” open=”off”]<\/p>\n Basically, three things are simultaneously true:<\/p>\n The points you raise are right at the intersection of key questions in working with trauma: does revisiting the material reinforce it or release it? Check out my talk<\/a> about ways to work with the mind.<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”How can you erase negative associations in neural structure rather than overwriting them?” _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” open=”off”]<\/p>\n When something bad happens the brain sometimes starts to associate neutral stimulus with negative stimulus. There\u2019s been a lot of study on this with animals. A few human examples might be being in an elevator after having a panic attack in one, or working with an authority figure when you\u2019ve had issues with authority in the past, or being outside in the dark after being assaulted out in the dark, or speaking from the heart when that was shamed when you were young. The situations are not inherently bad, but over time we build up negative associations with them because we\u2019ve been hurt in the past. It\u2019s the classic idiom \u2013 once burnt, twice shy.<\/p>\n In studies on rats, and also in new studies with humans, the key is (A) the activation of the learned link between the neutral and the negative stimulus, and (B) the repeated activation of the neutral stimulus with no negative associations during the window of re-consolidation.<\/p>\n In practical terms, this would be a matter of surfacing a person\u2019s association between a neutral and negative stimulus, and helping them understand conceptually (at least) that the neutral stimulus is actually inherently neutral. Then, after this process, repeatedly reactivate the neutral stimulus with no negative associations for the next hour or so.<\/p>\n Minimally, you could reactivate the neutral stimulus with neutral associations. And for maximum effect, I think it could be useful to associate the neutral stimulus with authentic positive associations, which you can think of as \u201cantidote experiences.\u201d<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Does it take 5 or 10 positive inputs to offset every negative one?” _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” open=”off”]<\/p>\n I think the 5:1 (or 3:1) ratio idea comes from the work of the Gottmans, in which they found that couples with less than a 5:1 ratio of good to bad interactions were at heightened risk for divorce. A related idea comes from Barbara Fredrickson, that people really start to thrive when they have more than a 3:1 ratio of good to bad experiences over time.<\/p>\n There\u2019s been some pushback against these exact numbers, but the basic idea is solid: during evolution (and still today), negative experiences tend to have more urgency and impact than positive ones. In the wild, if you don\u2019t get a \u201ccarrot\u201d today, you\u2019ll have a chance to get one tomorrow\u2026but if you don\u2019t avoid that \u201cstick\u201d today, ulp, no more carrots forever. So we are naturally more affected by negative experiences in the moment, plus naturally designed to internalize them. Positive experiences have a quantity effect in the lives of most people, but negative experiences have a quality effect: they are generally more powerful.<\/p>\n So for me the bottom line is:<\/p>\n Meanwhile, recognize your impact on others. Try to make sure that their good moments with you outnumber the bad ones by at least 3\u2026or 5\u2026or 10! (a good way to stay married\u2026)<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”If someone let’s go of the negative thoughts in their brain and actively takes in the good, it seems that could be the same as running away from negative feelings in the mind\/body, which is counter to mindfulness.” _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” open=”off”]<\/p>\n My take, with a bucket of salt:<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Your idea about achieving happiness is to fill your implicit memory with good experiences rather than negative ones. Have I got that right?” _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” open=”off”]<\/p>\n Filling implicit memory with good experiences is one way to achieve greater happiness \u2013 and to help heal old pain and increase resources for coping. Other ways to accomplish these ends include increasing mindfulness, releasing negative beliefs and feelings, learning to activate the parasympathetic nervous system, and taking constructive action. That said, taking in the good<\/a> is really important, both on general grounds and to compensate for the brain\u2019s innate negativity bias.<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Where does the reference for the 5, 10, or 20 seconds it takes to commit positive experiences to long-term memory vs. a lesser period of time for negative ones comes from?” _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” open=”off”]<\/p>\n There is no specific number (5 or 10 or 20) \u2013 those are just shorthand references I use that seem to work for people. The key is a matter of degree: the longer, the more intense, and the more felt in the body an experience is the more it will be encoded in neural structure. This is a fundamental and widely known fact in the neuropsychology of learning (including emotional learning). It\u2019s also known that negative experiences have an advantage: they get encoded more readily. So we are trying to do two things: steepen the learning curve from useful, beneficial experiences, and compensate for the negativity bias of the brain.<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”As soon as I notice a good thing, I automatically have anxiety about not being able to hold onto it long enough. Help!” _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” open=”off”]<\/p>\n Try this: when engaging a basic sensual pleasure like eating a strawberry or enjoying a warm shower or bath, give yourself over to savoring the pleasure without anxiety. It\u2019s natural for your mind to wander slightly; you needn\u2019t be anxious about this; you\u2019re still encoding the experience in implicit memory.<\/p>\n Also try focusing on breathing and giving yourself over to it.<\/p>\n And then use the learning from these experiences to apply to receiving other positive experiences.<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”What would you suggest to help someone persist in practicing HEAL?” _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” open=”off”]<\/p>\n Three nice things about HEAL:<\/p>\n So I find that using HEAL becomes pretty natural for people, like any good habit. If you\u2019re a mental health professional you can do things with clients to encourage them to focus on key resource experiences between sessions, or simply put little reminders around them like doing HEAL at specific times such as at meals or just before bed or just after exercising or meditating.<\/p>\n As to regular mindfulness practice, you can use HEAL to internalize the experience of mindfulness so it comes more easily and you get better at it \u2013 just like internalizing the experience of any other inner strength, to grow it inside yourself. Similarly, you can use HEAL to internalize the benefits of mindfulness \u2013 or related practices such as meditation \u2013 so you get more motivated to practice as you experience its rewards.<\/p>\n Also, try making a commitment to meditate \u2013 which could include for a person the theistic version of contemplative practice, which is prayer \u2013 at least one minute a day.<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Does having an implicit memory full of positive experiences make you less dependent on day-to-day or moment-to-moment events for your happiness?” _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” open=”off”]<\/p>\n Exactly right!<\/p>\n People who have not internalized positive experiences and other resources are dependent upon the outside world for the provision of them \u2013 or they get stoic or defended and deny their need for such experiences. This is a mistake since they are a universal, human need, as well as the basis for coping and for the strength of mind and heart it takes to stick up for those we love and make this world a better place.<\/p>\n But if you do take in positive experiences \u2013 particularly the ones that are key resources for a history of lacks or wounds (e.g., current experiences of feeling cared about are critically important for healing old experiences of abandonment, rejection, dismissal, loneliness) \u2013 then you fill up your own cup and become less dependent on external conditions; in effect, your happiness becomes increasingly unconditional.<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”If you focus on the positive for long enough, does it actually make your brain more receptive to doing that?” _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” open=”off”]<\/p>\n Research shows that repeated practice of any positive behavior (e.g., gratitude) will increasingly incline the mind in that direction. Presumably, since all mental activity and changes entail neural activity and changes in brain structure, this changing inclination of mind must involve enduring changes in neural networks and activations.<\/p>\n More specifically, there is much research showing that negative experiences gradually sensitize neural networks, including for memory, in a negative direction. I don\u2019t know of any specific studies describing an opposite effect, though there are studies showing that positive experiences and thoughts can gradually desensitize negative sensitization. This said, it\u2019s plausible to me that a person could gradually sensitize the brain to \u201cthe good\u201d since sensitization is such a general dynamic\/mechanism in the brain \u2013 thus making the brain like Velcro for the positive. This has certainly been my own experience; I feel like I am much faster than I used to be at registering a positive experience so it \u201csticks to my ribs.\u201d<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”If someone was to adopt just one of daily practice to foster a buddha brain, which would you recommend?” _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” open=”off”]<\/p>\n Taking in the good<\/a>. I\u2019ve been doing practices for 35 years (I\u2019ve had a lot to practice with!), and this is my all-time favorite practice. I use it every day.<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Do you have any suggestions for my fear that the closer I get to happiness the more I feel deeply afraid that something bad will happen?” _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” open=”off”]<\/p>\n You raise a real and common concern that if we feel good (putting it simply), then bad things will happen. Perhaps we will lower our guard, or others will punish us, or we\u2019ll be disloyal to others who suffer.<\/p>\n I\u2019ve thought a lot about this issue, with these reflections:<\/p>\n Your immersion in a beneficial experience is heightening \u2013 in the language of the Buddha \u2013 part of the \u201cchain of dependent origination.\u201d The \u201cpleasant\u201d feeling tone you\u2019re experiencing (also called the hedonic tone in psychology) is causing \u201ccraving\u201d for the experience to continue (so that the recognition of its impermanence is distressing), and you\u2019re then \u201cclinging\u201d to it as an essentialized, stabilized thing. As the Buddha teaches, this leads to suffering.<\/p>\n For this, a dharma-centric approach would be to cultivate more equanimity, so that the heightened pleasantness of the experience encounters a heightened \u201cshock absorber\u201d of equanimity, and you are able to enjoy the pleasantness without craving or clinging to it. Also, as the pleasantness is repeatedly internalized, it should shift your overall state into greater well-being and less basis for craving and clinging altogether.<\/p>\n It seems like your brain is associating one thing with another, such as love for your child \u2014> fear for their well-being. For that, I\u2019d suggest developing mindfulness of the fear, then opening to the felt knowing that she is OK, then returning to love for her. Intuitively, my hunch is that you have a huge heart. The Link step in the HEAL process, repeatedly taking in antidote experiences for the unresolved pain or traumatic residues, could really be helpful here.<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Research suggests that people who use positive affirmations feel the gap between where they are and where they want to be, making them feel worse. Do you have an explanation for the seeming discrepancy this and your work?” _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” open=”off”]<\/p>\n I know about this research, and it\u2019s interesting. I think it reveals a fairly narrow and specific phenomenon in which people who are relatively unhappy think about something positive and then feel worse because the gap between their current state and where they want to be is highlighted. For this to occur, the \u201chappiness intervention\u201d must be ineffective, otherwise their mood would be lifted and the gap would close between their current state and where they want to be. So what this research actually means is that affirmations are not very effective, at least the way they were done in the study and others like it, and that we need to make effective efforts in the mind to increase happiness (broadly defined).<\/p>\n The sort of skepticism about making deliberate efforts to nudge the mind in a happier direction that is implicit in this study and in related critiques of trying to be happy must also be considered in light of the thousands of studies (plus personal experiences) showing the general effectiveness of interventions to increase positive states and decrease negative ones. It\u2019s interesting that dozens of these intervention studies are published every month \u2013 reducing anxiety, increasing self-compassion, regulating anger, increasing gratitude, etc. etc. \u2013 and we never hear about them. But let one study appear from a \u2013 ah \u2013 grumpier perspective, and it\u2019s in the news. This is what\u2019s particularly curious to me, the investment in skepticism about and frank dismissal of deliberate efforts to increase mental health and happiness.<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Is it important for taking in the good to recall actual experiences or can they be imaginary?” _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” open=”off”]<\/p>\n Once you have a beneficial experience occurring in your mind, it does not matter what its source was, in terms of installing its essence into your brain.<\/p>\n Often the source of a beneficial (usually enjoyable) experience is simply the flow of daily life, and we just notice what is happening already. Other times we deliberately create an experience, and two ways to do that are to recall past actual experiences or to imagine possible ones, such as imagining how one wants to act in the future (often with a sense of what could feel good about doing that). Both of these two ways are effective methods to self-generating beneficial experiences.<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”In working with Taking in the Good, is the explicit number of seconds a variable, and therefore not necessary to be so specific? ” _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” open=”off”]<\/p>\n I would say this in a fuzzier but more accurate way:<\/p>\n So, key practical implications include:<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Would the Taking in the Good process be applicable with people who have attempted suicide or would you recommend that the client have a certain degree of stability before being able to move into that process?” _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” open=”off”]<\/p>\n First, a couple cautions:<\/p>\n With this in mind:<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”When going through the \u201cLink\u201d stage of your HEAL process, should my positive thought be one of love from others, even those I feel betrayed by?” _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” open=”off”]<\/p>\n It is natural to continue to be bothered by negative thoughts and feelings long after a loss and psychological injury that\u2019s as large as the one you experienced. In my model of the three ways to engage the mind \u2013 let be, let go, let in \u2013 sometimes it take many months, or even several years, to get through the first two of these. Try not be overwhelmed by the pain.<\/p>\n Then, on the basis of truly letting be and letting go, you can now let in most effectively, such as internalizing positive experiences of feeling cared about by others (e.g., friends, children), and feeling worthy and good in your own being. Then the linking step of holding both positive and negative in your mind will be most effective.<\/p>\n More generally, it helps me get free of my own suffering in relationships when I can see the suffering in others and have compassion for them. This does not mean I approve or let them off the moral hook, just that I also recognize their own pain and difficulties. Besides being benevolent, this seeing of the suffering of others paradoxically helps me feel less upset.<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Can \u201cTaking In The Good\u201d help in relationships?” _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” open=”off”]<\/p>\n Yes, studies show that for most people most of the time \u2013 each day, week, month, year, and lifetime \u2013 they are having many more positive experiences than negative ones. Of course, there are important and sometimes tragic exceptions that need to be acknowledged, too, such as people at home and abroad living in terrible poverty, or with chronic pain or depression. The problem is that the brain has a feature that worked great for survival in the wild, but today functions as a kind of design flaw in terms of quality of life and long-term health: the brain generally lets positive experiences flow through while capturing all the negative ones. This is why \u201ctaking in the good\u201d is so important: by staying with positive experiences for a dozen or more seconds in a row, we can capture them and weave them into the fabric of the brain and the self.<\/p>\n The noteworthy researcher on marriage, John Gottman, found that happy, lasting couples had at least a 5:1 ratio of positive to negative interactions (and often an even higher ratio), and found that falling below this 5:1 ratio was a major risk factor for eventual divorce. Without getting into numbers, which could be misleading, the key takeaway point is that much research shows that negative experiences are generally more memorable, more reactive to the body, and more consequential in how we feel and see the world. This is true in all time frames, whether a day or a lifetime.<\/p>\n Therefore, the practical steps are: (A) bear negative experiences when they happen without getting all negative about them (which just adds negative to negative), (B) help yourself get through a negative experience as gracefully and as a soon as you can, and (C) really cultivate positive experiences, and when you are having them, really focus on them to take them in.<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Throughout your work you espouse our basic goodness. And yet, we also know how much horror we are capable of. Can the two be reconciled? ” _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” open=”off”]<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_accordion_item][et_pb_accordion_item title=”You write that when human beings are not in a state of fear, exhaustion or other negative stimuli, their natural state is one of openness and contentment. Other researchers (e.g. Anna Lembke) posit that our natural state is neutral, and imply that we should strive to keep it that way, or at least in balance. What do you think?” _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” open=”off”]<\/p>\n As an overview:<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_accordion_item][\/et_pb_accordion][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ prev_background_color=”#ffffff” _builder_version=”4.17.4″ _module_preset=”default” background_enable_color=”off” use_background_color_gradient=”on” background_color_gradient_stops=”#f2f0ed 0%|#ffffff 99%” custom_padding=”9px||||false|false” top_divider_style=”mountains2″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.17.4″ _module_preset=”default” custom_padding=”0px||0px||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.17.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.17.4″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”||0px||false|false” custom_padding=”71px||0px||false|false” locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row column_structure=”1_3,1_3,1_3″ _builder_version=”4.17.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”1_3″ _builder_version=”4.17.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text module_id=”simple-practices” _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” header_5_font=”|300|||||||” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n Beware of Anger<\/a><\/p>\n Don\u2019t Beat Yourself Up<\/a><\/p>\n Relax, You\u2019re Going to be Criticized<\/a><\/p>\n See the Good in Others<\/a><\/p>\n Taking in the Good<\/a><\/p>\n Turn Anger into a Peaceful Heart<\/a><\/p>\n Mindful Cultivation: Turning Passing States Into Beneficial Traits<\/a><\/p>\n Positive Neuroplasticity: The Practical Brain Science of Building Lasting Psychological Resources<\/a><\/p>\n Positive Neuroplasticity: Turning Everyday Experiences Into Lasting Inner Strengths<\/a><\/p>\n Taking in the Good: Building Inner Resources and Stronger Relationships<\/a><\/p>\n The Unshakable Core: Growing Embodied Resilience In a Turbulent World<\/a><\/p>\n Using Positive Neuroplasticity for Change That Lasts<\/a><\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_3″ _builder_version=”4.17.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” header_5_font=”|300|||||||” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n Changing Negative Thoughts<\/a><\/p>\n Confronting the Negativity Bias<\/a><\/p>\n How to Take in the Good<\/a><\/p>\n It\u2019s Possible to Heal Yourself<\/a><\/p>\n Overcoming the Negativity Bias<\/a><\/p>\n Taking in the Good Stuff<\/a><\/p>\n Train Your Brain: Awareness of Your Body<\/a><\/p>\n Train Your Brain: Filling Your Body\u2019s Cupboard<\/a><\/p>\n Train Your Brain: From Anger to Peace<\/a><\/p>\n Train Your Brain: From Anxiety to Security<\/a><\/p>\n Train Your Brain: From Sadness to Contentment<\/a><\/p>\n Train Your Brain: Letting Go<\/a><\/p>\n Train Your Brain: Positive Emotions and Taking in the Good<\/a><\/p>\n Train Your Brain: Taking in the Good \u2013 Key Points<\/a><\/p>\n Turning a Negative Nelly Into a Positive Polly<\/a><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_3″ _builder_version=”4.17.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.18.0″ _module_preset=”default” header_5_font=”|300|||||||” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n Being Well Podcast on Anger<\/a><\/p>\n Practicing with Negative Reactions to Others<\/a><\/p>\n Train Your Brain course<\/a><\/p>\n Your Best Brain<\/a><\/p>\n Breaking Negative Cycles in Your Relationships<\/a><\/p>\n How to Use Anger and Not Let It Use You<\/a><\/p>\n The 1-Minute Challenge for Taking in the Good<\/a><\/p>\n Take in the Good – Rick Hanson at Chicago Ideas Week<\/a><\/p>\n Tips for Taking in the Good<\/a><\/p>\nFREE VIDEOS<\/h5>\n
How to Overcome the Negativity Bias<\/h2>\n
FREE READS<\/h5>\n
Simple Practices for Managing Negativity and Anger<\/h2>\n
Being Well Podcast Episodes<\/h2>\n
Online Course<\/h2>\n
The Positive
Neuroplasticity Training<\/h3>\nOur brains are wired to take in the bad, and ignore the good.<\/h5>\n
Discover the Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love, and Wisdom<\/h1>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
Learn how your brain creates worry or inner strength, heartache or love, anger or peacefulness, confusion or clarity, and suffering or its end.<\/h5>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
Frequently Asked Questions<\/h2>\n
Psychologist and Author Dr. Rick Hanson answers real questions* about<\/span><\/h6>\n
Negativity and Anger<\/span><\/h3>\n
The resolution for me is in the framework of being with the mind, and working with the mind. And working with the mind has the two aspects (also summarized in the Right Effort element of the Buddhist eightfold path) of releasing\/preventing\/reducing what causes suffering and harms and fostering\/preserving\/growing what causes wellbeing and benefits. Thus: Let Be, Let Go, Let In – the three great ways to work with the mind.<\/p>\n\n
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Additional Resources on Negativity and Anger<\/h2>\n
Simple Practices<\/h3>\n
Slides<\/h3>\n
Articles<\/h3>\n
Talks<\/h3>\n
Videos<\/h3>\n